amor fati

sweet disposition.

A moment, a love
A dream aloud
A kiss, a cry
Our rights, our wrongs
A moment, a love
A dream aloud 
A moment, a love
A dream aloud

So stay there
Because I’ll be coming over
And while our blood’s still young
It’s so young
It runs
And we won’t stop until it’s over
Won’t stop to surrender

If there’s anything these last few weeks have taught me, it’s how to be on my own. Not that I don’t depend on my friends or anything but I just find that I keep my problems to myself more and more. Like there’s not so much of a need for me to depend on anybody to make me feel better or to show me the ‘right’ path. I agree it’s nice to have someone to be your shoulder to lean on but reality is, people are busy with their own lives and their own problems. In the end, you know yourself the best.

So I’m pretty damn proud of myself for getting out of that dark tunnel of daily annoyances and future fears on my own. I guess it was a transition into realization. Like a mirror was shown back at me clearly. A mirror that reflected how life was, how it could be. Who I was, who I am now, who I want to be. 

I’m figuring things out little by little. I’m definitely going to stay a Chemistry major now. No turning back! I realized the classes fit my interests the most. There’s also an inkling about my career in the back of my mind that I’m trying to deny or that I’m just not plain sure about. I’ve joined a few organizations that I hope to make some sort of contribution to! I haven’t been involved in something like this before so I’m super excited (: Midterms are finally over!! I studied for them like they were finals -_- I’m sure I killed off some of my life expectancy with this routine of little sleep, exercise and unhealthy food hahah.  Research/work is tiring. I have to re-do the last few experiments but it’s okay. I just hope I have time for everything. I can’t believe it’s already week 7. 

So yeah. Things are starting to look up. Like I’m starting to get a hold of the life that slipped away from me for a moment kind of thing. heh. I feel refreshed and happy right now. Happiness is but a fleeting feeling though of course.  Until the next bout of stress then! At least I know I’ll get through it somehow. “Won’t stop to surrender.”