29 1 / 2012
just a dream.
I sat in a kayak travelling down a tunnel covered with vines. The smell of salt water engulfed my senses as I was nearing the end. Suddenly, a wave washed over me. Pure and cleansing, as if to juxtapose all the cruelty once enshrouding my entire being in that tunnel. I found peace again in what seemed like an eternity inside that wave. Eyes wide, it left me grasping for air but oddly, I could just as easily breathe. The wave transported me to the middle of a lake surrounded by all the places I hold dear.
The clearest blue, the purest breath.
I think I realized what I can’t live without, something I never want to give up on for any cost.
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26 1 / 2012
When she was just a girl
She expected the world
But it flew away from her reach
So she ran away in her sleep
Dreamed of …
When she was just a girl
She expected the world
But it flew away from her reach
And the bullets catch in her teeth
Life goes on
It gets so heavy
The wheel breaks the butterfly
Every tear, a waterfall
In the night, the stormy night
Paradise, paradise. I can’t help but to escape reality every chance I get. Bad habit.
(Source: irefus3t0sink)
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20 1 / 2012
Laz Pozas Xilitla, Mexico
Architectural surrealism meets paradise — built by Edward James in the 1900s
I can’t believe a place like this exists in the world. Must see!
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17 1 / 2012
Putting in effort for something you truly want is simple
once you finally figure out what you want.
Getting it is another story.
*fingers crossed
16 1 / 2012
“I know we don’t have anything in common but..”
That’s not true. It’s not true at all.
It was heartbreaking to hear that from someone I used to get along with so easily. That’s what the passage of time does. When I was a child, your home was my playground, I even “ran away” to find salvation in your stories and kindness once.
I’m sure we have some similarities. I’m sure we can always find something to talk about. Your knowledge is vast and indispensable - there can’t be dull moment with something so valuable. I know you have a lot of things to teach me and things you want to tell me to appreciate more as your days grow shorter. I wish I could be there more often so all I can say is I’m sorry and thank you.
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09 1 / 2012
Bottled memories.
I came upon pictures of you and I from my first summer here. I had almost forgotten about it but once I saw it, everything came back. All I thought when I saw them were, “Wow. Being by your side, I didn’t look anything but happy.” I guess no matter how annoyed I am of you or how many times I say I give up on you, in the end, I still want you in my life.
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04 1 / 2012
"The thing is, I have a goal. And I want to see how far I can go. What others think is irrelevant, isn’t it?"
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01 1 / 2012
Dear Coke Talk: On greatness and killing your ego.
How do I accept that I won’t ever be great or outstanding? I always thought I had talent, and maybe I’m not bad, but a great many people are far better. I can’t stop thinking this and it’s causing me great anxiety.
Kill your ego, because nothing you do will ever matter. That’s okay, though. It’s not just you. It’s all of us. It’s taken 100,000 years for our species to hump and grunt its way into momentary dominance on this pale blue dot, but nothing we’ve accomplished is all that outstanding when you consider that a Mall of America-sized asteroid is all it would take to turn humanity into the next thin layer of fossil fuels.
Greatness is nothing but the surface tension on the spit bubble of human endeavor. On a geological time scale, our measurable effect on the planet is a greasy burp. We are seven billion tiny flecks of talking meat stuck to an unremarkable mud ball hurtling through space in an unimaginably vast universe for no particular reason. There is no difference between kings and cripples, my friend. We’re all the same hodgepodge of primordial goo, and the pursuit of greatness is a fool’s errand.
Pursue happiness instead. Find peace in your insignificance, and just let your anxiety go. Learn to savor the likely truth that the sum total of human achievement won’t even register in the grand scheme, so you might as well just enjoy whatever talents you have. Use them to make yourself and others happy, and set aside any desire to be great or outstanding.
That’s not to say you shouldn’t do your best. You should. If you’re talented, by all means, exploit that talent to the fullest extent possible. Just don’t do it for the sake of greatness. Do it for the sake of happiness. If the distinction is a little hazy, that’s because your ego is doing its best to get in the way. Your ego wants to put you on a pedestal at the center of the universe. It wants to convince you of silly things like jealous gods and life after death. Your ego would never allow you to believe that you are anything other than a special snowflake, which is why you have to kill it.
Annihilating your ego is the quickest way to happiness. Embracing your insignificance will make your anxiety suddenly seem ridiculous. You’ll recognize petty emotions like schadenfreude and envy for the childish tantrums that they are. You’ll stop comparing your talents to others, and you’ll be able to enjoy being good at something without the need to be great.
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01 1 / 2012
That’s all there is to it.
(Source: trustinelements, via quote-book)
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24 12 / 2011
“This Guy Proposed to His Girlfriend with Internet Memes”
Wahh so cute ;____;
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20 12 / 2011
On a Good Day.
I’m a little bit hemmed in
A little bit isolated
A little bit hopeful
A little bit cold
But I hold on, And I feel strong
And I know that I canBeen talking to myself forever
And how I wish I knew me better
Still sitting on a shelf and never
Never seen the sun shine brighter
And it feels like me
On a good day
Ahh this past week has been exceptionally great! Finally got all my grades back and I survived my first quarter of upper divs! ^_^ Making up for the first two years! Went out with lab today for Sabine’s last day at Pomodoro, a cozy, popular Italian restaurant south of Wilshire. It was actually pretty fun to share experiences and hear my PI’s stories. I’ve been spending a lot of time at lab/with labmates lately; it makes me see how it would be if I went to work full-time. It’s not too shabby!
Hmm but things are going well finally. It probably won’t last super long, after all, “happiness is a state of mind, not a destination.” I want to utter the words that are screaming in my mind so bad but I’m scared I’ll jinx it so I’ll just keep it to myself. My little secret (:
I expect no less from here on out. I must meet it head on and hopefully improve even more!
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